Confusion
by esama
Summary: Yami prowls the corridors of the Puzzle. One shot


**Confusion**

This must be the most complex construction ever created in any plane of existence. Endless corridors and endless stairs leading into endless rooms within which there are endless questions, traps and dead ends. The labyrinth of ancient magic, the labyrinth of long lost power. The Puzzle of Thousand - or Millennium Puzzle as they call it.

As I aimlessly wander within these endless halls, I can't help but wonder. This place is as infinite as the universe, and there is always something _there_ - doesn't matter if a room, a staircase leading down into shadows or just a corner of a corridor turning to left or right, there is always something there, waiting for me. Sometimes I see faceless ghosts which fade when I try to take closer look at them. Sometimes I encounter a traps of some ancient design - some of them silly and simple, others so complex that it takes me a while to make my way pass them. And sometimes I see nightmares and illusions of times long gone past.

And how I _long_ for those illusions, those mirages which fade before my eyes. That is why I wander here. I could go through the walls if I wished to, I could walk right pass those traps and they wouldn't be able to hurt me, after all, the labyrinth inside the Puzzle is the same as my mind - this place _is_ my mind. I control this place to the last carving on the stone wall, but instead of controlling it to my liking I walk here and wander from corridor to corridor, from room to room… seeking for what the Puzzle won't let me have.

My memories.

And there is my weakness. Not in the absence of the memories I'm seeking, but what I just claimed. I say I control this place completely but in truth I control it only as much as it lets me. In a world of games bluffing is so common thing, it is such common thing to _me…_ that I do it even to myself. I proudly proclaim that this place is mine when it really isn't. I am this place's. And this place is the Puzzle's. And the Puzzle belongs to Yugi as he was the one who solved it.

Sighing in a way only bodiless spirit can, I run my fingers through my hair and try to shake the morose thoughts away. I know I would be able to solve the Puzzle just as he could, if I ever got the chance to try. But I wont because if the Puzzle breaks, I break with it, I become pieces with it. And unless the pieces are put together, I wouldn't be able to do _anything_, not to even mention about somehow being able to complete the Puzzle myself.

Shiver runs through me at the mere thought of the Puzzle breaking. I dread the day, I pray it will never happen. If it will then I will lose the touch of light Yugi has given me - I lose the bond between us and become a mere shadow once more. I fear that if that happens, I will lose my mind. There is more than slight possibility of that happening; I wasn't exactly sane before I started to interact with Yugi.

Yugi, my aibou, my hikari, my partner, my light… Warmth flushes through me as I think of him and smile appears on its own to my lips. They say I am the strong one, the great one, the powerful one, but I know the truth. Without Yugi I am nothing more than a wraith, not even that. Yugi is stronger than people give him credit for, stronger than they will ever see. I see it, I know it, and I feel it, heck I live from it, from his endless light. It's sad no one else sees it. I use the power, yes, but Yugi supplies me with it.

He knows it too, I think. Somewhere in the back of his mind he knows that without him I wouldn't be as strong as I am. Thankfully he doesn't seem to care. He is content in our connection where I use the power he has and he submits himself to my protection. He enjoys being protected as much as I enjoy protecting him, so it's pleasant deal for both of us.

Right now I'm before another door. Looking it up and down I see nothing I haven't seen before. The door is old and rusty, made of metal they don't make anymore surrounded by stone frames they don't use anymore. These days world seem to be made of stainless steel, glass and plastic. They don't have use for rusting iron and good old stone. Possibly because time affects iron and stone where steel and glass and even plastic remains long untouched by time. Or so it seems anyway.

Running my hand down the rough door I wonder what's inside there. Another trap perhaps, or ghost of a memory - possibly a nightmare of some event my mind doesn't want to remember while my heart longs for? It really could be anything, this place is cunning and vicious and it likes hurting me on most occasions. It seems to taunt me and my choice to not over power it. It plays mind games with me I level no human can ever play - it's _hiding_ my mind from me. Hide and seek of madness and insanity, really.

As I reach to push the door open, I hesitate. There is always something there before the moment of revealing. Indecision and doubt. What if I don't like the person I was? I know nothing of him, who can tell me he wasn't a tyrant or a monster, who can say that he wasn't a murderer and a fiend? Who can't say that he wouldn't hurt Yugi if he got the chance?

Yugi can. And he has, over and over again. "Yami, there is no way you could've been a bad person. Yes, you were a bit confused in the beginning but you are a good person, one of the best I've met. No way you could've been anything less than what you are now."

He is so trusting it breaks my heart sometimes. And there is his power. Yugi doesn't feel hate, or anger, or rage, he cannot think negatively. He trusts and he hopes with endless amount of power that comes straight from his heart. He _believes_ in the good in everyone, even after people have let him down he still believes - he cannot not believe. It's his greatest fault and his greatest power. And I am all that he cannot be - I am the doubt, the indecision, the suspicion, the rage and the hate. I'm the darkness he doesn't have while he is the light I cannot be.

All in all, we make a very matching pair.

And he believes in me, so… I push the door open. It's heavy, the hinges make a creaking sound, and as it's pushed open I can see how the draft it created makes a layer of dust on the floor scatter. It almost funny how real this place is even while being so very unreal - like having upside down stairs which lead to the shadows of the ceiling. There is quite many of those here, actually, stairs which lead to nowhere I can go.

The room behind the rusted door is empty, but emptiness is something this place doesn't really have. Empty places always hide something here. Carefully I step forward, watchful of my steps in case of another trap. But nothing happens. The floor doesn't give in, no ancient booby-trap attacks me… there isn't even shadows of memories here. Confused I look around. Dead end, these are rather rare here…

And then the door closes behind me with a loud bang. Startled, I turn to look at it in the shadows of the room before moving to open it… but there is no handle. Frowning I examine the door with my eyes to find a way to pull it open, but there is nothing there, just cold slap of metal without even dents in it. Still I keep my calm as I turn away from the door to examine the room for an escape - another door perhaps. There is nothing there.

Entrapment. Oh, how well do I know that word and all its meanings.

Wondering what the Puzzle is throwing at me now, I prowl around the room examining the walls, the floor and the ceiling, running my hand over the carved stones in search of an imperfection. Age lingers onto the walls like sickness even in here, eating away in the stones, slowly but steadily turning them to sand. Only smallest pit of stones had been reduced to sand, but even so…

I wonder if in time all of the Puzzle's insides will become nothing but sand. Just like those ancient cities I see pictures of in Yugi's history books - nothing but ruined stone. Yet I know it would take so much more to destroy this place than time. These walls and doors are tainted by time because of me - to remind me that I am nothing but part of this place and therefore out of my own time. Nothing but a ruined figure who is slowly being reduced to nothingness.

I wish to laugh at that notion, but it only becomes out a sarcastic snort. Time no more than this place cannot destroy me. Yugi, my light, won't allow it. Running my hand across the rough stone once more, I smile crookedly. Yugi taught me enough of those emotions of light for me to be able to trust in few people. I chose to trust in him. I am still suspicious of Jonouchi and Honda for what I see in Yugi's memory, I am still suspicious of Anzu for the pity in her eyes, and of course I can never trust in the likes of Kaiba and Bakura. I will never trust in them, but I do trust in Yugi. I trust him with my life and my sanity. Or my existence and what's left of my mind, as I most certainly am not alive or even sane.

I think I know what the Puzzle is doing now. It's trying to force me to become the wraith I am - force me to go through the walls like a ghost. With no physical escape, I must escape in unphysical manner. I shake my head in mirthless amusement. Being a game itself the Puzzle takes everything as a game, even things like this. Very well then, let's become a ghost for a while.

…I can't get through. It takes moment for the shock to spread in me as I push my hand against the door. I can't get through! The shock is slowly replaced by panic as I try the other walls, the floor, the ceiling… I can't get through any of them. I'm trapped in this blank room, in this dead end. As I'm banging my fists against the door and the wall in hopes of the Puzzle relenting, my mind flashes through the most horrible thing ever created by human mind. _What if_.

What if Yugi is threatened when I am entrapped here, what if he needs my help? What if he tries to contact me and I cannot call back, being imprisoned in this accursed room in the back of the Puzzle? In my panic I try to reach for him only to find the bond between us broken and hazy. I cannot reach him. I cannot contact him. I'm trapped in more ways than one, and the panic gives away to pure terror and then… fear. Horrible fear.

What if I can't ever get out of this room, what if I will be trapped here forever, what if… what if I can never see my light, my partner again? What if this isn't trap of the Puzzle, what if Yugi actually put the Puzzle away, what if he broke it… what if Yugi abandoned me?

"Aibou…" I whimper as the fear and horror and terror and all the emotions I wished I couldn't feel flush through me. They shake me as if I was nothing but a ragged doll. The shadows close in on me and soon find myself huddled in the corner, hugging my knees for warmth and comfort… "Yugi…" I don't remember ever being this afraid in my life.

As my terror consumes me, I feel the walls and the floor give away from under and behind me. With a cry I fall into the darkness, only to slam against floor that appears under me. Even though I don't breathe, I'm knocked breathless by the fall. Gasping for illusionary breath, I look up. The falling pieces of the stone walls are turning sand before they touch me or the floor.

This place doesn't look like the corridors and endless staircases I know. This is a… dungeon. Sitting up, I look around in this shadow ridden place. I'm in a crossing. I can go back, forward, left or right and all the paths lead only to darkness. Trying the nearest corner, I find that I still cannot phase through the walls, so… after moment I pick the right corridor and follow it into the shadows, hoping that I will find a way out, hoping that I will find my way back to light.

I have no idea where I am now. Usually I know, even though the Puzzle shifts and changes I can always tell where I am and most importantly where the Door is - the Door which leads into the corridor between my and Yugi's soul rooms. But now I can't tell and I feel blind.

Carefully I make my way in these dark, dry dungeons of my mind and the Puzzle. While walking, I fight my own morose thoughts. The bond with Yugi is still hazy and I can't feel him anymore. Is this what abandonment feels like? I do not like it, I do not like it at all. It's incredulous that I have never before noticed how much I rely on him, but I don't care, I just pray that I can get back to him.

"Yugi," I speak loud as the corridor continues and continues. "Aibou…" I whisper this with quivering voice before I raise my head to look up to the shadowy ceiling. "Mou hitori no ore!" It's just a hair's width from scream. I rarely call him _my other self_, maybe because it in a way gives him a strange ownership over me - just like he gives me ownership over him when he calls me _mou hitori no boku._ Yet I don't care, I just wish… I wish that he could hear me. But my cry only echoes into nothingness and I get no answer.

"Yugi…" it is a whimper this time as I fall to the sandy floor of the dungeon of my mind and the Puzzle. I raise my hands to run my fingers through my hair in a way to clear my mind, but instead my hands cover my face in expression of helplessness. Subconsciously I know that the corridor will never end, that there is nothing in the other end, and that if I would turn back I would never find the crossing. There's nothing there, he's not there. "Yugi, please… aibou, _please_…"

The Puzzle doesn't have to feed me illusions or lies as my own mind supplies them. I see someone stealing the Puzzle from Yugi and selling it for money… Yugi breaking the Puzzle and placing the pieces of the Puzzle back into the golden box… Bakura throwing my Aibou aside while he holds the Puzzle with victorious smirk… Yugi's blood as he falls down, lifeless…

"No, no, no, Yugi…" I whimper rocking myself gently for comfort I cannot give myself. The shadows are cold and heavy and they are in my heart, squeezing it until I can't hold back my tremors and quivers. Only by biting my lip I can stop myself from weeping. "Aibou, Yugi, hikari, mou hitori no ore…"

"Yami." It's like breath of air and ray of light. With a gasp I look up to find that I'm no longer in the never ending corridor but in the supposed front hall of the Puzzle, in the room connected to the Door. And he is standing before me, looking down to me worriedly, glowing in the shadows of the Puzzle. "Yami, is something wrong?" he asked.

"Aibou!" I gasp and lunge at him. He cries with surprise as the collision of our bodies throws both of us of the floor. He is rigid. I don't care as I bury my face to his chest, holding him close. He is warm, he is breathing, he is here, he is _real_. "Aibou… you… it was… why didn't you…?" I ask disjointedly. "So… _alone._"

He sighs and warps his hands around me. "You were dreaming, Yami," he whispers as he runs his fingers up and down my spine. "It was nothing but a bad dream."

---

I wrote this messy thing a while ago and finished it just now. Spurred to life from idea of Yami getting lost in the puzzle. I'm not completely satisfied with how it came out, but... there's something here I liked. My apologies for possible mistakes and grammar errors.


End file.
